Mission Papers

      So my mission papers are finally in. I am super stoked!!!! I am really ready to know were I am going because I really think that will make my life a lot more happy. I have been working on getting them in for...i don't even know. A freaking long time. It seams like everything that could have gone wrong, has. I am a planner, so having everything in the air for this long has really driven me a little bit insane. When I decide something, I want to go and do it! Right then! Having to wait for an indefinite amount of time has really tried my patience. 

      But for all the complaining I do, I really know that it was supposed to happen like this. Apparently when I made the decision to go, it wasn't quite time yet. So I had to wait a little bit. And that is fine. For all of my grumbling, I really do that I have a plan made out for me already. I just don't know what it is. I'm sure that there are countless reasons why I have had to wait. But I know that one of them is to make me more trusting in the Lord. Not just trusting in the Lord in general, but really on His timetable. 

      I really struggle not getting things right when I think I want them, but time and time again I have been shown that I get things when I need them. And many more times than that, I am shown that the things that I think I need, are simply wants. Superfluous and untimely wants (I love that word). 

      Approximately a bajillion people have asked me where I want to go. They probably think I'm stupid or something when I say I have no idea. The reality is, I really don't care. Sure there are some places where I think I wouldn't love (Taiwan or Montana), but the fact of the matter is that I know I will be called where I need to go. Someone told me that I would be called to the mission that catered to all my greatest character flaws. I will go to the place that is hardest for me to go because my greatest flaws are the things I will be forced to improve upon.  I have no idea whether that is true or not, but I liked the idea of it. I know that missions are to serve others, but the Lord understands where to put you that will make the greatest impact on not only your converts, but on you. It's fun to make guesses and stuff, but I really don't care where I am called. I have no clues as to where I will go and that doesn't really bother me. If I am called to Taiwan, I will learn to love it and I will think that is the best place on the planet! 

      I am super excited to find out! But I have been forced to cool my jets so now I am good. I can wait. My brother had to wait like 6 weeks at this point because his papers got lost in transit. If that happens to me, I think I will just have to chuckle. Because seriously? That's just funny. I should find out in about a week and a half which is AWESOME!!! But I really know that I will go where I am supposed to go, when I am supposed to go. I have no idea what the next few years has in store for me, but I say, "bring it the freak on". I'm sure I'm not ready, but I will be as ready as I need to be and get the help along the way that I need.   

Bike riding, not as easy as it looks.

     I had an adventure today. It was called, my first bike ride in probably 10 years. Let's start in the third grade when my bike was stolen. It was tragic. I lost half a snickers bar and a bike in one day! I openly wept. I was 9 so it wasn't weird. Anyway. it was gone and not going to be replaced because pretty much all the other siblings had bikes that I could steal to ride to school and stuff.
     When we moved, we left most of our bikes there or something. I don't know where they went, but most of them didn't come. Needless to day, I don't think I rode a bike the whole time I was in Oregon because I had no idea where they were if they actually made the move with us and I never noticed. In college I had no bike so I never rode one.
     Diana(roommate) got a bike in the spring and I have thought about riding it but I rode it for the first time today. I decided to go down the Provo trail. I just googled how long it was, yeah 22 miles. That was such a poor decision. Turns out riding a bike is really hard! The whole thing about "it's just like riding a bike!" is wiggidy wack. I rode 22 miles and I had slow down and squeal a little for every turn I hit because turning on a bike if far more difficult than I remember! Some old Mexican men laughed at me because they heard me squealing as I went around a corner. Corners are scary ok?! Also there was a pitbull. If you know me at all you know how terrified I am of pitbulls. I rode real fast past that guy!
    Turns out the Provo trail has several places where you go under the road in creepy tunnels. Yeah turns out that's a little terrifying when you're not actually in control of the two large spinning wheels propelling you through the dark creepy tunnel.
    So. You can probably tell that my life is really boring right now that I was so entertained by my little adventure. But I thought it was interesting! I will probably be super sore later, but it was for sure an adventure! I'll probably do it again tomorrow. Maybe.

I love Sonic

Ok can we all just start here and agree that Sonic is awesome beyond reason? Let's talk about why: 1. Daily specials- I can get a delicious chicken toaster for a buck on Wednesdays versus the four-ish dollars every other day. That is just rockin awesome. 2. Freshy food- This is really the only place I like fast food anymore because all the other stuff it is just too greasy and gross! But this place has actual food. Actual super delicious food. 3. Ice cream- The shakes and blizzards are level 900,000 on the deliciousness scale 4. Half price shakes after 8pm. I just discovered this last night. I got a holy-cow-good huge shake last night for $1.61! 5. Happy hour- Half priced icy things from 2-4. I never get to participate in happy hour but just the fact that it is there makes Sonic even more awesome 6. Roller skating car hops- Yes they have a drive-thru, but who wants to do that when a nice person on roller skates will bring it right to your car?! Convinced? You should be. If not, talk to me and I will tell you even more reasons why Sonic is far superior to every other fast food establishment on the planet.

Toxic Perfectionism

So I just got back from a lecture about LDS women and depression. It was extra credit for a class and I was honestly intrigued about how the topic would be presented seeing as I am an LDS woman with depression. However, I now find myself deeply frustrated with the presenter and honestly, the giant portion of the population that buys into her topic. I can safely assume that every person that is currently reading this knows me well enough to know that I am very blunt. So I am now going to tell you what's up and if you're offended, I'm sorry and I hope you get over it soon because you're doing nothing but giving yourself wrinkles.
This woman's research really had no set thesis but it was about LDS women in Utah with medically diagnosed depression. She talked about how Utah, especially Utah county, is oh so judgmental and has created "toxic perfectionism". According to her, Utah county is the only place where women are feeling depressive feelings because of judgmental people around her making her feel insignificant. Let's start here. Apparently this women has never been to middle school, high school, the gym, book club, parent teacher meetings, anywhere outside of Utah and potentially ever out of her house. Every one judges all the time! It's human nature! Not a good one, but it's what we do! People try to put others down to make themselves feel better about themselves. Yes, it's stupid but guess what? It happens. Daily. Hourly! Has she not seen Mean Girls?!
Every person ever wants to be perceived as perfect. Why would anyone ever go tanning or to the gym if they didn't? The reality is, no one is perfect. Everyone is flawed which is what makes the world dynamic and functional. This women's premise is that only women within the LDS culture feel that way and that is so bazaar to me.
Second issue. She interviewed 24 women for this project. Seriously? 24? All from Utah county? Hmm I wonder why your results were unanimous? Oh right! It's because your research pool was minuscule. Duh. That's not research. That's finding only people that agree with you and writing about them.
Depression is the most diagnosed mental illness through the world. It goes under a few different names, but research had shown time and time again that it has universally the same symptoms and is consistently the most diagnosed worldwide. LDS women with feelings of inferiority aren't unique. Once again, that's called being human.
LDS women in Utah are not the only people who suffer from the effects of toxic perfectionism. People always feel judged whether they actually are or not. It is normal. The state of Utah and the LDS faith is not to blame for women feeling depressed. Readers, how many of you got up and put on fashionable clothes, combed your hair and put on makeup? Why? Because you would've felt judged otherwise? Who do you think would have actually noticed? Oh wait. No one. We all feel these feelings. It's normal. Calm down. Inferiority is one of they ways Satan brings us to his level. We have all felt it because he puts it in our minds. If you think you're alone with these feelings, you're not. You're normal.
If you have felt pressured today to be unrealistically perfect, raise your right hand and give yourself a swift smack on the noggin. No one is perfect. You are wonderful how you are. Now list five things about yourself that you like and five things that are going well in life. Now go give yourself a cookie for your positive thinking. Repeat this cycle whenever needed until you stop being unrealistic.

Life lessons from Draper

So I have lots of thoughts and opinions about lots of things. Because I am so wise about all subjects I would now like to tell the internet all about a few lessons I want to teach my future children that I learned in one of my classes.
-Side note-
First off I would like to clarify that the idea of me having kids totally freaks me out because that would mean I have to actually start dating and then like a boy enough to marry him and then like him enough to reproduce with him and then I have these little children that I am in charge of and teach stuff to? Oh yikes. That all sounds super terrifying. I would rather not do those things but statistically speaking, it's gonna happen. Yikes.

Ok. Here I go.
These are some lessons I have learned in my gender class I really hope to incorporate in my motherings. They are as follows: The cows gotta be milked, dig your ditches early, kwiturbichen, don't go where the monsters dwell, and if you don't want to be tricked or treated, don't dress like it's halloween. I am using his main ideas about these things but I am putting lots of my opinion in there too so beware.

1. The cows gotta be milked. No matter how much you don't want to do certain things, they still have to be done. My teacher gave the example of having the flu. You feel nasty but the cows can't milk themselves. No matter how gross you feel, and how much you don't want to, you still have to do what needs to be done because the consequences get worse the longer you wait and you are hurting those who depend on you.

2. Dig your ditches early. This lesson is basically about procrastination. The longer you wait to start something, the more unpleasant it generally is. If you don't get up at 4am to dig your ditch, you'll have to do it in the blazing heat of the day and you will regret your lack of quality.

3. Kwiturbichen. Sound it out. My teacher spelled this out on the bored for us and I thought it was pretty funny so even though my mother will be appalled, I included it. The more whine about something, the less it is going to go away. Something or someone who you hate isn't going away so stop whining and deal with it.

4. Don't go where the monsters dwell. Monsters dwell in caves and dark evil places right? So why, after venturing into those type of places, are we surprised when we are hurt by the monsters? If we date a loser of a guy hoping to fix him, why are we shocked when he doesn't change and he breaks our heart? If we go to a party where these are bad things going on, why are we confused when we wake up somewhere strange with a black eye? Don't go where the monsters dwell. Don't put yourself in situations where bad things are going to happen to you. Monsters sometimes leave their home and come and get us, but why would we seek out pain? Just don't do it.

5. If you don't want to be tricked or treated, don't dress like it's halloween. As ladies, if we wear skin tight shirts with excessive amounts of cleavage, we should expect to be treated like a tramp because that how we look. Girls. Our bellies and shoulders can be covered and we can still be being immodest. We shouldn't be able to accurately guess your bra size because your shirt is so tight. We should not know whether you are endowed or not because your skirt is so short and your legging are so tight that we can see your panty lines. Boys. Same deal. Who are you attracting with your deep V's and uuber tight pants? Not awesome girls that's who. I don't want to see you undies when you bend over and I don't want to see your man-cleavage. That's gross.

I was going to add a few more but then I ended up on Youtube watching videos of my sister's kids for an hour so now I'm all internet-ed out. Enjoy!

Rigoletto

On Saturday I took Andrea on a date. It was horribly romantic. Ok not really but I can pretend right? Anyway. We went to Rigoletto up in Salt Lake. It was AMAZING!!! I thought I knew the plot from the other Rigoletto I had seen but it was entirely different and super intriguing. I love the opera. It was so beautiful. It was in Italian of course. I thought the tenor was amazing but then the soprano came out. I can't decide who I loved more, the soprano or the bass. The soprano sang more but the bass had such a presence! He was playing the part of a hit man and he did it so so well. The soprano was the daughter of the main character and she would be crumpled up on the floor singing like an angel 3 octaves above what most people could dream of.
Look it up. Read it and if you can, go to the opera. I pinkie promise you won"t regret it.

Requirements

So a few days ago I had to go on a date. I generally hate dating. Ok let's face it, I always hate dating. Anyway. The date was fine. We went to a Jazz game and had freaking 5th row tickets!! 5th row! It was an amazing game, super close the whole time and way back and forth. I was yelling my head off (which was entertaining for all those around me because I had a horrible cold and sounded like an old smoker lady on crack). So when I got back from this date I was thinking about all the things I like and don't like about boys. I decided to make a list of things that my future intended will do. Here I go!

He will:
-not mock my taste in music
-dance in the car with me
-warm up my side of the bed occasionally
-be confident
-be supportive
-attempt to cook at least once
-like to try new things
-not insist on being better at everything than everyone
-get along with my family as much as possible
-like little kids
-not cry like a little girl about stupid things
-not pick his nose-at least not in public
-have his own goals
-work hard
-let me mow the lawn
-let me scratch his head
-read to/with me
-inspire me to be greater than myself
-moisturize (I hate it when people have gross cracky hands)
-not raise his voice at me
-exercise
-occasionally go to the pet store with me to look at the puppies
-eat healthy
-share my obsession with Queen Anne's chocolate covered cherries
-clip his nails regularly
-let me cut his hair
-help me with the dishes
-like to learn
-like sports
-like music
-dance with me (face framing counts)
-let me keep my Michael Jackson and Superman posters
-let me drive sometimes
-go to musicals/operas with me
-let me have the maturity of a 10 year old boy
-go on roller-coasters with me
-never shove cake in my face
-let me borrow his sweats
-warn me if he stunk up the bathroom
-teach me things
-let me sleep in sometimes
-come play outside with me
-let me leave the windows open all summer
-sit on my feet when they are cold
-think my jokes are as funny as I do
-have opinions about things
-make decisions for me
-share the last slice of pie with me

I'm getting bored of typing things now. I'm sure I could think of many more things, but I think you get the idea. So if anyone knows a guy that will comply to my specifications then send him my way! I probably won't date him because dating sucks, but I'll stare with fondness in my eyes.