But for all the complaining I do, I really know that it was supposed to happen like this. Apparently when I made the decision to go, it wasn't quite time yet. So I had to wait a little bit. And that is fine. For all of my grumbling, I really do that I have a plan made out for me already. I just don't know what it is. I'm sure that there are countless reasons why I have had to wait. But I know that one of them is to make me more trusting in the Lord. Not just trusting in the Lord in general, but really on His timetable.
I really struggle not getting things right when I think I want them, but time and time again I have been shown that I get things when I need them. And many more times than that, I am shown that the things that I think I need, are simply wants. Superfluous and untimely wants (I love that word).
Approximately a bajillion people have asked me where I want to go. They probably think I'm stupid or something when I say I have no idea. The reality is, I really don't care. Sure there are some places where I think I wouldn't love (Taiwan or Montana), but the fact of the matter is that I know I will be called where I need to go. Someone told me that I would be called to the mission that catered to all my greatest character flaws. I will go to the place that is hardest for me to go because my greatest flaws are the things I will be forced to improve upon. I have no idea whether that is true or not, but I liked the idea of it. I know that missions are to serve others, but the Lord understands where to put you that will make the greatest impact on not only your converts, but on you. It's fun to make guesses and stuff, but I really don't care where I am called. I have no clues as to where I will go and that doesn't really bother me. If I am called to Taiwan, I will learn to love it and I will think that is the best place on the planet!
I am super excited to find out! But I have been forced to cool my jets so now I am good. I can wait. My brother had to wait like 6 weeks at this point because his papers got lost in transit. If that happens to me, I think I will just have to chuckle. Because seriously? That's just funny. I should find out in about a week and a half which is AWESOME!!! But I really know that I will go where I am supposed to go, when I am supposed to go. I have no idea what the next few years has in store for me, but I say, "bring it the freak on". I'm sure I'm not ready, but I will be as ready as I need to be and get the help along the way that I need.
