Life lessons from Draper

So I have lots of thoughts and opinions about lots of things. Because I am so wise about all subjects I would now like to tell the internet all about a few lessons I want to teach my future children that I learned in one of my classes.
-Side note-
First off I would like to clarify that the idea of me having kids totally freaks me out because that would mean I have to actually start dating and then like a boy enough to marry him and then like him enough to reproduce with him and then I have these little children that I am in charge of and teach stuff to? Oh yikes. That all sounds super terrifying. I would rather not do those things but statistically speaking, it's gonna happen. Yikes.

Ok. Here I go.
These are some lessons I have learned in my gender class I really hope to incorporate in my motherings. They are as follows: The cows gotta be milked, dig your ditches early, kwiturbichen, don't go where the monsters dwell, and if you don't want to be tricked or treated, don't dress like it's halloween. I am using his main ideas about these things but I am putting lots of my opinion in there too so beware.

1. The cows gotta be milked. No matter how much you don't want to do certain things, they still have to be done. My teacher gave the example of having the flu. You feel nasty but the cows can't milk themselves. No matter how gross you feel, and how much you don't want to, you still have to do what needs to be done because the consequences get worse the longer you wait and you are hurting those who depend on you.

2. Dig your ditches early. This lesson is basically about procrastination. The longer you wait to start something, the more unpleasant it generally is. If you don't get up at 4am to dig your ditch, you'll have to do it in the blazing heat of the day and you will regret your lack of quality.

3. Kwiturbichen. Sound it out. My teacher spelled this out on the bored for us and I thought it was pretty funny so even though my mother will be appalled, I included it. The more whine about something, the less it is going to go away. Something or someone who you hate isn't going away so stop whining and deal with it.

4. Don't go where the monsters dwell. Monsters dwell in caves and dark evil places right? So why, after venturing into those type of places, are we surprised when we are hurt by the monsters? If we date a loser of a guy hoping to fix him, why are we shocked when he doesn't change and he breaks our heart? If we go to a party where these are bad things going on, why are we confused when we wake up somewhere strange with a black eye? Don't go where the monsters dwell. Don't put yourself in situations where bad things are going to happen to you. Monsters sometimes leave their home and come and get us, but why would we seek out pain? Just don't do it.

5. If you don't want to be tricked or treated, don't dress like it's halloween. As ladies, if we wear skin tight shirts with excessive amounts of cleavage, we should expect to be treated like a tramp because that how we look. Girls. Our bellies and shoulders can be covered and we can still be being immodest. We shouldn't be able to accurately guess your bra size because your shirt is so tight. We should not know whether you are endowed or not because your skirt is so short and your legging are so tight that we can see your panty lines. Boys. Same deal. Who are you attracting with your deep V's and uuber tight pants? Not awesome girls that's who. I don't want to see you undies when you bend over and I don't want to see your man-cleavage. That's gross.

I was going to add a few more but then I ended up on Youtube watching videos of my sister's kids for an hour so now I'm all internet-ed out. Enjoy!